


A Feeling

by reylotrash711



Series: reylotrash711's one shots [8]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars - The Force Awakens, Star Wars - The Last Jedi - Fandom, Star Wars - The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A little fluffy, F/M, Falling In Love, Fix-It, Love, No dying here, POV Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Tros fix-it, Yes they kiss, a little angsty, he's in love, tros did us dirty so here you go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22930360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylotrash711/pseuds/reylotrash711
Summary: From the moment he first saw her, in the forest on Takodana, she had intrigued him. She was so afraid and yet so strong. He had been around many women, and yet, something about her as different. Maybe it was because she didn’t grovel at his feet or plead for his attention, when she first saw him she had shot at him with a blaster.---Ben Solo reflects on how he fell in love with the Last Jedi, Rey
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Kylo Ren
Series: reylotrash711's one shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588801
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71





	A Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Oof here we go, another Fix-it fic because that's what we need rn  
> Unbetad so all mistakes are my own

From the moment he first saw her, in the forest on Takodana, she had intrigued him. She was so afraid and yet so strong. He had been around many women, and yet, something about her as different. Maybe it was because she didn’t grovel at his feet or plead for his attention, when she first saw him she had shot at him with a blaster. 

When he first saw her, his main priority had been finding the map. That damn map. Snoke’s voice had instructed him to find it and he was not going to betray his master. He had been so lost, the darkness hanging over him. But this woman, she had thrown everything upside down. She was strong with the force. He could feel her in the forest, the way she was a bright light in the darkness that surrounded him. 

It wasn’t the most romantic first meeting. Back then he would never have imagined that he’d be where he was now, with Rey at his side. 

He’d been slightly cocky the first time he took his mask off. He wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, but it was definitely something he got from his father. 

When she had called him a creature in a mask he immediately felt the need to prove her wrong. It’s not that he thought that he was in any way an attractive man, but he was still human. The look on her face had been priceless, how she was so shocked that he was in fact a human. That, of course, didn’t stop her from calling him a monster. 

Entering her mind in the way he did was despicable, he could never forgive himself for it. He had hurt her. But she had pushed back, discovering a power inside her that had left them both in shock. She had entered his mind, unleashed his secrets, read them like an open book. 

It disgusts him that he did such a thing, tearing into her mind without a second thought for his own personal gain.

Stars, he’d hurt her so many times. He remembers the tears from when the force had connected him. How she had cried, demanding to know why he had killed his father. There was so much pain in her eyes, mixed with anger and hatred for the crime he had committed. In the short time, she had known his father, the hole left by her parents had started to fill. He was right when she was always looking for her parents, and he had taken away the first person who felt like a father to her. Once again, he had hurt her for his own personal gain. 

Killing his father had torn him in two, but he could never take it back, he was gone. Seeing what it had done to Rey, even now she would be slightly distant whenever they spoke of him. She had forgiven him, she’d told him she had. But he knew that deep down, it had hurt her deeply, just as it had him. 

The force bringing them together had been the first step. The first time he saw her through the force, despite being galaxies apart, he had felt something shift. Something had begun to change. He'd never felt it before, it was strange. 

At first, he tried to ignore it. It was nothing more than a temporary ‘crush’. An infatuation trying to lead him astray. But then there was the night in the hut. 

Rey had come to him seeking help, seeing him as the only person who could understand. The only person who could understand what it felt like to be alone. 

She had cried, allowed herself to be vulnerable. 

He told her she wasn’t alone. The words had felt so powerful, they held so much. Everything that had been going around his head had poured out through those three words. 

When her hand had stretched out towards him shortly afterwards, it had shocked him. How could someone as good and as light as her, want anything to do with him? Everything about her was intoxicating. She made him question everything, gave him a reason to try and do better, even if his first thoughts were selfish. 

That moment when their hands touched in the light of the warm fire, everything was thrown off course. Just as she had, he’d seen their future. He was filled with hope; hope that maybe, just maybe, they could have a future together. He could see her standing by his side. At first, he so hoped it would be on the darkside. Even for her, he was too afraid to turn back to the light. 

But it had been taken away from them almost immediately when his Uncle had appeared and torn the building down. A moment so precious, hastily crushed by Luke. 

However, Ben refused to give up. His mind was made up. 

When she arrived on the Supremacy he had been taken aback. Immediately he had shielded his emotions from her, she couldn’t know what he was about to do if she did the whole thing could backfire terribly. 

Standing in the elevator with her had been torturous. She was close. It wasn’t like with the force bond, she was really there in person, standing before him. The closer she had been to him, the more nervous he had become. He had felt such a strong desire to kiss her in that moment, to express what words couldn’t describe. How in such a short amount of time, she had turned his world upside down? Made him feel things he didn’t think were possible for a monster like him to feel. 

Killing Snoke had been an easy decision. Rey had given him the strength he needed, freed him from the demon that had been whispering in his ear for his whole life. As they stood together, fought side by side, everything had felt so… right. 

They were a team, they saved each other, fought 

each other. 

Until it backfired terribly. 

He had pleaded with her to join him, to bring a new order to the galaxy. Power had once again blinded him, everything was right at his fingertips and he knew he could have it all. 

He had called her nothing, even though she meant everything to him. Now he understood why that had been such a terrible mistake. He now swore that he would tell her she was his everything until she grew sick of him. He would spend the rest of his days proving how much she meant to him. 

After the throne room, they were separated for so long, only catching each other momentarily through the bond. 

He was certain she hated him then. By that stage, he knew he could never hate Rey. When Palpatine told him to kill her, it was like the galaxy had come to a standstill and he was left with a choice. He could become the most powerful man in the galaxy, or he could stand with the woman he was quickly falling in love with. 

It had been an easy decision, despite Palpatine’s voice in his head, he would never kill Rey. He had never even entertained the possibility. He wanted Rey at his side, just as he had told her in the throne room. He wanted to be with her, in every meaning of the phrase. But how could they be together when they were on opposite sides of a war? 

At the time he thought the only answer was Rey joining the darkside, only now could he see how wrong he had been. But the idea of turning to light had seemed impossible. Even if he did turn, would Rey ever return his feelings?

He supposed the moment he was certain of his feelings was on Kef Bir. When he had gone to strike her down, but been frozen in place by the sound of his mother’s voice. She had stabbed him with his own saber and in that moment everything had changed. 

With tears in her eyes she had knelt down next to him, knitted together the wound she had given him with the force. Her light had moved through him, healing him in so many ways. Rey had killed Kylo Ren and brought back Ben Solo. 

Once again, he had wanted to kiss her in that moment, embrace her and tell her everything. But her actions had left him speechless. 

When she had confessed that she had wanted to take his hand, he had wanted so desperately to tell her. To say the words that both excited and terrified him. 

But she had run away, straight into danger in order to save her friends, her family. She wanted to avenge her parents, to destroy Palpatine once and for all. 

The decision to follow her was easy. He had run into that dreadful place with nothing but his Uncle’s blaster, determined to not let her sacrifice herself. They could stand together, destroy Palpatine once and for all. 

Her eyes when she saw him through the force bond was the only confirmation he needed. Rey was proud of him for turning, he just hoped she realised it was for her, all of it. 

They stood together, side by side with lightsabers in hand. But Palpatine was too powerful, stealing away their bond to bring himself back to power. 

As soon as he had woken after being briefly knocked unconscious after being thrown in that kriffing pit, Ben had begun to climb. Once again he was following her, refusing to let her fight Palpatine alone.

But she had. Rey had fought Palpatine alone and in the process, sacrificed herself. 

Nothing was more painful than feeling her die. After years of torture Snoke, he thought he was used to pain. But no amount of torture could have prepared him for what it felt like to lose Rey. He had nearly fallen back into the pit, for how could he live without her? But he persisted, he just had to see her. At least one last time. 

Seeing her lying motionless on the cold stone floor of the sith temple made his heartbreak into a thousand pieces. The only person he had ever loved, truly loved, had been taken from him. 

When he held her in his arms, looked into her unseeing eyes, he had wanted to scream. He had wanted to cry out and curse the universe for taking her from him. He had looked around the temple desperately, searching for anything or anyone who could help him. 

Then the realisation of what he had to do had dawned on him. Transferring his life force to her had been an easy decision to make, and perhaps the only right one he had made. Placing his hand on her waist, he allowed the force to flow through him into her, pouring all of his love through what remained of their bond. 

And then she had placed her hand on his, looked on him with bright eyes that were filled with compassion. 

When she pressed her lips to his, he could've done a backflip. The moment was perfect. Everything else melted away and it was just them, Ben and Rey. 

As they pulled back, he knew that was the moment. The moment to express his feelings. 

“I love you,” he breathed, looking into her eyes.

At first, he saw surprise.

Then understanding.

And then a smile, as bright as a rising sun spread across her face, “I know.” she said in return before pressing another kiss to his lips, silently telling him that she felt the same way.

They were both incredibly weak. But they had managed to stumble out of that terrible place, holding onto each other and supporting each other as they made their way to their ships. It was there that they had to part ways once again. Rey had pressed a kiss to his cheek, promising him that they would be together soon. 

He had reluctantly agreed to part from her, whispering words of love. It was painful for him to watch her fly away in his Uncle’s X-Wing with the Resistance. But as the X-Wing flew away and disappeared from sight, he knew he loved her more than all the stars in the galaxy.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
>   
> [Come say hi on Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)


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